The search terms people use to find my blog never cease to amuse or bewilder me. In many cases, it is obvious that my blog did not give these inquisitive folks the answers they sought, but I hope that it entertained or maybe even enlightened them a little, if they took the time to look around here.
I mentioned a few of my favorite search terms in my previous post, Ask the Misfortune Teller: Amusing Search Terms, and here are a few more search terms that made me laugh or gave me pause within the last three weeks.
(1) “how to kill a mockingbird”
I don’t know how to kill a mockingbird, and my blog does not provide such instructions, but this search made me wonder whether this person was looking for a tongue-in-cheek review of Harper Lee’s classic work, such as this one on Amazon (click on it for a clearer image):
Normally, I would cringe at the thought of giving a novel a one-star review as a joke, as I assume this review is, but Harper Lee’s classic novel about racial prejudice and injustice in the American South is so impervious to criticism after 50+ years that reviews like this do no harm.
On this blog, I have written about Harper Lee here: Illiteracy and the Digital Divide: The Difference Between Soft Pages and Cold Metal.
(2) “am i a identical female twin for a reason?”
I do not know whether this person was looking for a medical description of identical twinning (monovular separation) or for thoughts on a philosophical purpose behind it. Either way, my book blog is unhelpful, though I do write about identical twins, specifically my five-year-old daughters. For example, there’s this post, Sisterly Love: Reflections on Twinship, where I also discuss Abigail Pogrebin’s memoir, One and the Same: My Life as an Identical Twin and Everyone’s Struggle to be Singular.
So-called identical twins, who really aren’t identical even if they came from the same assortment of genes, are fascinating and wonderful, and it is apparent that many of my readers think so based on the high number of twin-related search terms this blog receives.
(3) “i did not type that crap in my history”
If it wasn’t you, then who? I have no idea. All I can say for sure is that it wasn’t me.
(4) “the misfortune of knowing prematurity”
I wonder if this person was looking specifically for my blog. Maybe, maybe not, but either way I do know a thing or two about “the misfortune of knowing prematurity.” As I’ve written on this blog, my twins are micropreemies. Even my third daughter is a preemie, born at 34 weeks. There’s a world of difference between delivering at 34 weeks (a 5 lb 13 ounce baby) and delivering at 26 weeks (twins, 1 lb 10 oz & 2 lbs).
My twins spent their first 78 days in the NICU. Those three months were torture, and we spent a long time wondering whether prematurity would have long-lasting effects on our daughters’ cognitive and physical abilities, but there is a silver lining. I am a stronger, more compassionate person than I was before motherhood crept up on me a full trimester too soon. Oddly enough, I have more positive memories of the NICU than negative ones now. Last year, a fellow preemie mom I met on an online forum quoted me (under my nickname, Malie) on the subject in her insightful post, retitled Moving Beyond the Trauma of Preterm Birth. This is what I said:
“I was a wreck during our twins’ NICU stay, but I don’t really focus on that when I think back to that time. I miss hearing about every little milestone – every ounce gained, every step lower on the respiratory support, every poopy diaper – and I miss the nurses and doctors who cared for our twins for so long.”
So, perhaps preterm birth is not all “misfortune,” given enough time and a happy ending.
On this blog, I have written about my twins’ experience here:
(2) Two Types of Christmas
So, that’s it for now. Have you had any interesting search terms lately?